Niven's laws

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Niven's laws were named after science fiction author Larry Niven, who has periodically published them as "how the Universe works" as far as he can tell. Most recently rewritten on January 29, 2002 (and published in Analog Magazine in the November 2002 issue), the rules are:

1. Never throw shit at an armed man.

   1a. Never stand next to someone who is throwing shit at an armed man.

2. Never fire a laser at a mirror.
3. Mother Nature doesn't care if you're having fun.
4. Giving up freedom for security is beginning to look naive. (Note: this originally read "F × S = k", signifying that the product of freedom and security is a constant.)
5. Psi and/or magical powers, if real, are nearly useless.
6. It is easier to destroy than to create.
7. Any damn fool can predict the past.
8. History never repeats itself.
9. Ethics change with technology.
10. Anarchy is the least stable of political structures.
11. There is a time and a place for tact.
12. The ways of being human are bounded but infinite.
13. When your life starts to look like a soap opera, it's time to change the channel.
14. The only universal message in science fiction: There exist minds that think as well as you do, but differently.

    Niven's Corollary: The gene-tampered turkey you're talking to isn't necessarily one of them.

15. Never waste calories.
16. There is no cause so right that one cannot find a fool following it.
17. No technique works if it isn't used.
18. Not responsible for advice not taken.
19. Think before you make the coward's choice. Old age is not for sissies.
20. Never let a waiter escape.

Others

Niven's Law is also a term given to the converse of Clarke's third law, so Niven's Law reads: "Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology."

A different law is given this name in Niven's essay "The Theory and Practice of Time Travel":

Niven's Law: If the universe of discourse permits the possibility of time travel and of changing the past, then no time machine will be invented in that universe.

Niven's Laws is also the title of a 1984 collection of Niven's short stories.

Included in the 1989 collection N-Space are six laws titled Niven's Laws for Writers. They are:

1. Writers who write for other writers should write letters.
2. Never be embarrassed or ashamed about anything you choose to write. (Think of this before you send it to a market.)
3. Stories to end all stories on a given topic, don't.
4. It is a sin to waste the reader's time.
5. If you've nothing to say, say it any way you like. Stylistic innovations, contorted story lines or none, exotic or genderless pronouns, internal inconsistencies, the recipe for preparing your lover as a cannibal banquet: feel free. If what you have to say is important and/or difficult to follow, use the simplest language possible. If the reader doesn't get it then, let it not be your fault.
6. Everybody talks first draft.

In the acknowledgments of his 2003 novel Conquistador, S.M. Stirling wrote:

And a special acknowledgment to author of Niven's Law: "There is a technical term for those who mistake the opinions and beliefs of characters in a novel for those of the author. The term is 'idiot.'"

External links

• Niven's Laws 2002, with author's commentary